"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."
~ Neil Gaiman, as Rose Walker in SANDMAN #65

Four years and exposure to light can do a lot to a person's heart.  Here's my own journey.

Introduction
Chapter 1: It started with a project...
Chapter 2: Trial #1 - Take the Risk
Chapter 3: Feel the Magic
Chapter 4: Trial #2 - Departure
Chapter 5: Consistency isn't your strong point...
Chapter 6: Trial #3 - Unspoken Betrayal
Chapter 7: My End Through Silence
Chapter 8: A Hard Drive to Morning
Chapter 9: After the Storm
Chapter 10: Masks Unfurled - The Armor of Hope (New Mask)
Chapter 11: Prior Engagements - Epilogue

Link to relevant site